By Dr. Z.

People will always lie to you.  This is particularly true for people who have had difficult life circumstances. In fact, if you believe that no one has ever lied to you, then you are living the biggest lie.  Unfortunately, lying is a societal norm, much like living, and loving. Most healthy adults have grown comfortable with the idea that lies are a fact of life, and are not likely to care if they are lied to once in a while.  In this regard, most lies are harmless enough for us to give the benefit of the doubt and move on without prejudice. However, this article is not about detecting harmless white lies or benign unintentional lies.  Instead, the focus is on the kinds of lies that can lead to significant psychological, emotional, relational, and situational damages, especially for people who have already been through these traumas.  There are times when it is incredibly important to be able to detect lies. Detecting such lies are particularly important during a number of important life circumstances, which  may include

1. Choosing a Spouse or Life Partner
2. Selecting Close Friends
3. Hiring Contractors or  Employees
4. Negotiating a Business Deal
5. Following a Trust-Worthy Leader
6. Screening Child or Elderly Caretakers
7. Investigating Wrong-Doing
8. Spotting sociopaths
9. Vetting a Candidate for an Important Position

Therein, this article presents 10 EMPOWERing strategies for everyday people to detect serious lies without any forensic training.  There is no guarantee that these strategies are absolutely full proof, for even polygraph tests can only detect lies 90% of the time.  Nevertheless, these POWERful common-sense strategies, taken together, will provide enough insight into potential lies to help you to avoid being misled lies that could otherwise lead to undesirable consequences.  These strategies are presented below.

1.  Trust your instincts.

The first and most important way to detect lies without formal training is to listen to the voice within you that is screaming out that something is not right.  This is your instinct, which is like an alarm for danger and dishonesty. No matter how charming or persuasive the liar, there is almost always an inner voice that says “Do Not Trust.”  This is not just some imaginary construct. We are hardwired with trillions of nerves that is designed to respond to input. When false data is delivered, the internal gates go up and the alarm sounds.  The hairs literally stand up on your neck, and there is an inner sense that something is not right. Follow that inner voice and trust your Gut. It may save your life.

2.  Listen for Inconsistent Details.

The Devil is literally in the details.  One sure way to detect lies is to listen to inconsistent details.  This may come in the form of distorted or incorrect facts. However, some pathological liars are adept at either mixing elements of truth make lies believable, or using a lot of truth to hide small lies.  In either case, truth seekers can detect lies be paying very close attention to the information being presented. If even the tiniest part of the testimony has details that are not non-factual, inconsistent, or contradictory to the fact, then the entire presentation is a lie.

3.  Be aware of testimony that is unlikely, Impossible, or too good to be true.

We live in a world where almost anything is possible and with extraordinary circumstances that defies logic.  However, aside from theoretical plausibility, some things only follow the laws of possibility and truth; and, some things are just too good to be true.  Here are some examples:

• Ninety-nine percent of people will not get rich from the lottery jackpot.
• There is no lifetime warranty.  There are always limits.
• Money back is not necessarily guaranteed.  , there are conditions
• We cannot physically be in two places at once.
• Solid matter cannot phase through solid matter, at least not yet.  
• Fish will perish if they are out of water long enough.
• While it is physically possible to take a flight into an earlier time zone (e.g from New York to California), time itself does not reverse;  
• And, one plus one does not equal anything other than two, no matter how wild the mathematical equation.  

However, people who love to lie love to bend the truth to make you believe that the lie is possible.  If hear a story or testimony to grinds against the laws of concrete truth, do not buy it, especially if what is being sold is too good to be true.

4.  Look for any evidence of extreme ideas or hypocrisy.

Liars are so desperate to create belief in their lies that they tell those lies to extremes.  This characteristic is typified among sociopaths, con artists, charlatans, and hypocrites. These are the guilty suspects who spin a web of fabricated facts and alibis to divert the investigation.  These are the cult leaders who convince the cult members that only they are heaven-bound while others are headed for hell. These are business leaders who inflate stock prices by telling shareholders and board members that the company is fiscally invulnerable. These are the flirtatious cheating spouses who are outspoken critics of marital infidelity and loudly rant against even the most innocent extramarital mingling. And, these are the so-called grassroots down to earth protest organizers and resistance leaders who live the same self-serving life of luxury, excess, and greed as the so-called elites that they are protesting.  Here is the point. Show me an extreme hypocrite, and I will show you a liar.

5.  Read body language and nonverbal gestures.

There is a litany of popular and scientific literature on how to detect lies through non-verbal gestures and body language.  Here, we will keep it simple by focusing on some common tell-tale signs.  First, consider the eye-contact. If the eye contact is avoidant, this could mean that the liar does not have the courage to look at you while delivering the lie.  However, be aware that predators and con artists tend to be very intense when it comes to eye contact, as they know that eye contact is a window to confidence and trust. So, in this regard, if the eye contact is too intense, listen more carefully to the words.  

Other indicators of untruth may be subtle twitching facial expressions, body positioned away from the target listener, eye frequently looking up to the ceiling to answer straightforward questions, and head nods when a person is saying no (or vice versa), and sudden and unusual physical signs of nervousness.  Again, these signs may not always mean that deception is in play. However, it is important to slow the communication down, get clarity, and listen carefully whenever these signs are present.

6.  Listen for deceptive trigger words and catch-phrases.

Liars rely on a set of words and statements to move listeners past their lies.  They tend to use statements such as:

• Trust me!
• To be honest…
• I won’t lie to you…
• I guarantee…

These statements often communicate the very intent to lie and deceive others.  For example, trust can be built authentically and organically through honesty, consistency, and transparency.  Trustworthy people do not actually have to say “trust me.” This statement is typically used as a measure of forced trust. Be on your guard when you hear trust me, or any of the other statements.

7.  Look for any suspicious behavior,

People who are engaged in deceptive activity may display tell-tale behaviors that are out of the ordinary or outright suspicious.  This sign of detection is easy to spot because people tend to regress to creature-like defenses when they are not being honest. For example, a person may be jumpy or abruptly change a conversation topic when you enter the room, signifying nervousness about some inappropriate or dishonest activity.  A person may also change their usual expressiveness or interaction with you, signifying some hidden agenda or a response to information that they are not sharing with you.  In either case, suspicious behavior is an important clue to deception because it is one of the more obvious smoking guns for dishonest behavior.

8.  Gather valid  information from alternative and/or multiple sources

Liars tend to be good at lying face-to-face; but, they cannot erase facts and evidence, especially from sources beyond their influence.  There is a simple rule for this strategy. Fact check when you suspect. This may be time-consuming; however, it is worth it. Talk to someone else who may have knowledge of the topic or individual in question.   Google the information and investigate a variety of sources. You may also use several of the common sense lie detection strategies above. If anything does not line up with the original testimony, then the testimony may be false.  Remember that most of what a person may share with you can be verified within minutes. So, it is okay to give the benefit of the doubt but always seek confirmation.

9.  Ask follow-up or repetitious questions.

This is a classic lie detection strategy that may work for anyone..  Detectives use this strategy for investigative interviews. Psychologists also use this strategy for validity when creating or using interview scales. This strategy involves following up testimony that was provided earlier in a conversation by simply asking questions aimed at obtaining the same information.  To ensure the effectiveness of this strategy, you may use 2 unique approaches. First, take a time-delayed recall approach, which involves asking the following-up questions after a period of time has passed. This will allow liars to forget details of the testimony, thereby filling in the gaps with inconsistent details.  Second, you may use an interference approach, which involves changing the topic before returning to the original testimony with follow-up questions. The topic change adds unrelated information that may cause the liar to forget critical details of the lie.  As with the passage of time in the delayed approach, the topic switch may throw the liar off and cause them to forget critical details of the lie.  These two approaches can be used together. In fact, the interference approach involves the time-delayed approach by default.

10.  Challenge the testimony, then watch for defensive reactions.

Liars hate to be challenged.  One very fascinating way to throw the liar off from their game is to let them finish the lie, then simply ask them “Is that the truth?”  This is a simple but powerful query tool that seemingly asks an innocent question, while simultaneously communicating disbelief. Truth tellers will likely encourage you to verify without any undue defensiveness.  On the other hand, liars are likely to react defensively and elaborate on the lie, without evidence, to force belief. They are also likely to go on the offense and attack when they are challenged. Here is a simple rule to remember when challenging the liar.  A rabid dog will always bite. If a person reacts aggressively, defensively, and offensively in response to their testimony being challenged, they are likely defending the untruth.

If you found this article to be helpful, please comment and share with other readers.  In your comments, please provide any additional simple lie detection strategies that you can think of.

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