By Pamella Terry, MA, PD
Living through the death of a loved one is among the most painful of experiences people will encounter throughout their lifetime. It is normal for the surviving family and friends to go through a grieving period. Grieving is never pleasant, and worse off, the experience is inevitable. So, when we go through the unfortunate loss of a loved one, it is very common to feel that we will never survive the experience.
Typically most individuals can expect to go through the 5 psychological stages of grief that were proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross which are
- Denial,
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance.
Nothing will completely wipe away the feelings of loss, emptiness, and the sadness that accompanies dealing with death. Nevertheless, we believe that people can be EMPOWERed with tools that will help them to endure the grieving process, while gaining more strength to grow and move forward with time. This article was written to EMPOWER those who have lost loved ones with tips to grow past the pain of death. These tips are given below:
1. Embrace the Grieving Process:
Acknowledge that it is okay to grieve the loss of a loved one. Grieving is the first step to healing the wound or the hole left in your heart . Allow yourself time to feel that pain, for it is the first step toward healing, peace, and joy. The good news is that the sun will rise again, ending the long night. Winter will end, bringing in brighter warmer seasons. And just as these facts hold true, you will heal again, for yor healing and happiness is as inevitable as the loss itself.
2. Be Patient with the Process
Know that it can take months or sometimes even years to absorb a loss of a close loved one, especially when that loss has changed or altered your life. Being patient with yourself and the process allows you to embrace each stage of the grieving process. The remaining tips can be implemented while during the grieving process to bring you closer to healing.
3. Let Time Do its Work:
There is no such thing as “getting over” grief. The only way out of grief is to go through it. Yet, it is important to know that time is a powerful healer. The passage of time itself often helps to heal the pain. It sounds simple and we may have heard this said on many occasions but it is true. Time will heal the pain and, with the support of others, the grief will soften.
4. Surround Yourself with Love and Support:
If you are dealing with the pain of loss, you are not alone. Many, like yourself, have gone through or may be going through the level of pain and grief that you are feeling. It will be more than helpful to gather the love and support from your family, friends, or acquaintances, which will provide the comfort that could lead to eventual healing. It may also be beneficial to seek professional during the grieving period as it will provide you with a safe and non-judgmental setting to express your feelings.
5. Keep the Happiest Memories Alive
Lastly, honor your departed loved one by reflecting on all of the good memories you have of the person. Allow yourself time to laugh at those funny moments. Rejoice that you were blessed to have had the time spent with the person which now has provided you wonderful memories to reflect upon.
As you go through your day to day routine, there will be many reminders of the person that may stop you or your thoughts in your tracks. This may even happen often at first. Embrace those moments. Know that you may need to revisit strategy number one and work your way through strategy number five. These moments will happen less and less as time goes by. Continue to hold on to those joyful memories of time spent with your loved one. In time, your grief will soften.